White Christmas
by Shadow.Holic
Summary: It's Christmas, and Sanji is searching for someone. Luffy searches for snow. Warning: Yaoi, Sanji x Luffy.


It's Chirstmas. I had to type till midnight to get this done, but now that it is, I'm glad. It isn't neatly written, and I still need more vocabulary, but it's a longer work than usual and I like it.

Words in _italics_ are thoughts, while word in both _**bold and italics**_ are, well, words. You'll see.

Hope you'll enjoy reading!!

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**White Christmas**

It's Christmas Eve. The day of peace, of love, and of eating a big meal. At least, that's what Sanji knows about Christmas. This will be the second Christmas he spend with the Straw Hats, and again, he has to prepare a big meal. Makes him remember what happened last year.

As everyone can tell, he's a lady's man. He'll do anything for a lady, from cooking the best meal he can to fighting off enemies. Anything. But no matter what he does, how hard he tries, there's just this one girl who always manages to make him step forward then back again...Nami. She took a special part of his heart ever since he joined the Straw Hat Pirates, and he clearly understood that he's likely never going to get it back. He tries everything to woo her-from carrying her things to saving her life-but Nami simply refuses to accept him. Perhaps she's already found one to love, perhaps she's not yet ready, or perhaps she just doesn't want him. Either way, Nami just isn't his. The sole girl he always comes back to will never be his.

_**It's Christmas Eve, but you're still not with me. Just like last year, when you declined me. I turn away, with tears in my eyes. Back to the things, I'm much more used to. Maybe this year, but I refuse to try.**_

Clearing the extra thoughts in his mind, Sanji concentrates on cooking the meal. After all, everyone's waiting, and he doesn't want to let them down. Being the ship's cook, he has to do his job. He knows his role well. Doesn't make him have to like it every second of his life. Sure, being the best cook on the seas has always been his dream (and it haven't changed), but there are still times when he feels tired.

Very soon, everythings ready. With two words of his, everyone will be smiling in joy. And a few of them bouncing. Does he want to, though? Saying them will mean meeting the others. Saying them will mean dealing with the crew. Saying them will mean forcing himself to put up a façade.

"Dinners ready."

_**I'm so tired, without you beside me. I want to rest, but I know I can't now. Lying outright, I hope to be noticed. I must stay away, knowing I can't. Searching for something I know nothing of.**_

After dinner, everyone's either sleeping on the deck or still chatting around. After the last piece of dessert was eaten, Sanji allowed himself to finally relax. Everyone's happy, everything's fine, Christmas Eve is nearly over, and things will soon be back to normal. Or not, but he doesn't want to know.

Nami was sitting on the chair, drinking her tea and smiling at Luffy, who was tangled together due to his now overly long hands. _'If only she'll smile at me...'_ Sanji thought, then dismissed the thought. It isn't possible, and he doesn't want to put false hope inside his already overloaded mind. Out of all the crew members Sanji seems like the only one searching for love. He usually just jokes around it, but since its Christmas Eve...he wants someone to be with. Maybe not necessary someone he loves, but someone to be with, to smile with, to cry with...But, out of everything the Straw Hats have, it misses someone like that.

_**I'm watching, waiting, looking for someone. Not sure who that is, but I'll find out soon. Before then, dare I start to hope? What will you think, when I find someone else. If only I can get my mind off you.**_

Finally, silence. Luffy has finally untangled himself as well, making the ship reach an almost peaceful point. Though he is now quiet, Luffy isn't asleep yet. Instead, he was standing on a higher place of the ship, watching the calm ocean surface.

Sanji looked at him from below, curious about what he was thinking. It was very unlike Luffy to frown, especially when there's nothing wrong. Other then Sanji's own problems, that is...he can't imagine Luffy having a big problem. Still, being the only other awake, Sanji decided to go up to talk with him. Nothing better to do anyway.

_**It's Christmas Eve, and I'm getting restless. Still searching, just like I've always done. Not looking at you though, for this very once. Glanced at something I don't understand.**_

"Hey Luffy," Sanji said softly, not wanting to break the silence more than he has to. Luffy turned to look at him, stayed that way for a few seconds, and turned his head back to its former pose. Sanji heaved a day sigh-whatever the other was thinking, it isn't something good. "Come on, Luffy-why the sour face? I'm sure I didn't add lemon into your soup today."

Luffy remained quiet for a while, then replied, "No, you haven't." That made Sanji roll his eyes, but since Luffy wasn't facing him, the captain of the Straw Hats never saw it. "...I'm waiting for snow," he added, as if it was something he says everyday.

Sanji sat down beside him, clearly bewildered. "Why?" He knows its Christmas, but he doesn't think that Luffy's ever really experienced a snowy Christmas, as last year there wasn't any snow and the place Luffy spent his childhood doesn't snow in winter.

"Iwant the snow to wash away blood."

_**I've tasted violence, I've touched blood too. But when I calm down, I wish to be gentle. My hands on snow, touched by its softness. I don't care now, for I've found home.**_

"I..." _think I understand._ Sanji stood up, giving his pants a light pat, "Wait here," he directed, then walked off with his hands in his pockets. Something about the situation told him not to be rude. Of course, there are things he doesn't quite understand, but this once, he could almost feel it in his bones. Something he also felt, but didn't talk about. Something that has to with his joining pirates.

Walking into the kitchen, Sanji let himself drown in the familiar surroundings. His hands did not require his mind, letting him think. He has lots of things to think about, now containing Luffy, his captain...The only one he doesn't think about regularly. His captain was far too simple, too simple to need him thinking about. But not lacking surprises. No, perhaps Luffy is the one hiding the most surprises. Ever since the time he's decided to follow Luffy on his journeys, he's watched him, saw him learn, saw him grow, find him more and more mature, wants to go on with him more every second...It's just Luffy, too simple and complex to understand.

Sanji wiped his hands on a towel, flipping both sides so that his hands are every bit dry. Wiped off some of the blood he's touched this year too. By choosing to become a pirate, he has touched blood again and again, harmed many, killed some. It was the unsaid law of piracy.

_**But it's past midnight, Christmas now. I smile, I walk, I found my own path. I let myself go, let my soul free. I hold myself tight, to keep from the fright. Now is the time to find true peace.**_

Sanji walked back to the place Luffy sat, on his hands holding a plate. Something white glittered, catching Luffy's eyes. "Sanji, what's that?" he asked, pointing at the icy project Sanji made.

Sanji sat down beside him again, handing the plate over, "It's snow, silly. Can't you tell? It's a snowman." Indeed, a miniature snowman covered in various colors is on the plate, with a spoon right beside it. "Didn't you want snow?"

Luffy beamed at the cook, "Thank you, Sanji!" Grabbing the plate and the spoon, he let his tongue out and gave it a big lick. "Oooooh, its cold!" he exclaimed, sounding as if it's a great discovery.

Sanji raised an eyebrow, but didn't speak. It was good to see Luffy in his normal state. By just seeing his captain back to normal, it makes him feel everything's fine. "Luffy...ice is _always_ cold." But Luffy didn't seem to hear; he was busily lapping his tongue at the now melting snowman. Sanji sighed, "Luffy, have you ever really experienced a snowy Christmas?"

"No," Luffy replied just like Sanji predicted, "but I thought I might on the way. Doesn't seem like it's going to snow though...I thought winter is supposed to be cold, but it's hot here." He finally finished the top of the snowman, and paused to look at his work.

"Well, Nami-" _bad, bad, not supposed to bring her up, _"-_did_ say the weather in the Grand Line is very random. Maybe next year we'll get a white Christmas."

"A white Christmas?" Luffy asked, forgetting his dessert for now. Of course, snow is white, so a white Christmas is a Christmas with snow...But he's never heard anyone talking about it that way before. It sounded good though, so he's not about to complain.

"That's what people call when it's snowing in Christmas," Sanji explained, not knowing that Luffy has already explained it himself using Luffy logic. "So, Luffy...How did it taste?" Inside, Sanji was slightly worried, sure, Luffy loves to eat, but a plate of ice is nothing compared to real snow.

"Great," Luffy said with his tongue again on ice, "Sanji, have you, then?"

"Have I what?" he spilled out without thinking.

"Have you experienced a white Christmas?"

_**I think I found someone, I'm not quite sure. It's someone too strange, for me to comment. But good to be around, someone I care. Equal thoughts, on mind over soul.**_

It felt good talking to Luffy.

That was the thought that attacked Sanji, making him find breathing harder and harder. They talked about things, from the crew to the world. Still, both made sure Christmas is always part of the topic. It felt altogether wonderful, and it got rid of Sanji's lingering thoughts. But it also made him frightened. What does it mean, feeling this way toward Luffy? It was a strange feeling, something alien to him. He didn't know if he wanted it or not, but its there, staring right into his face just like Luffy's smile is in his brain.

And Luffy is just too close.

So close that he could smell him, the mix of the sea and a wild scent he never thought he'd recognized till now. Luffy was leaning on his side, their arms now beside each other, supporting each other. Neither of them moved, as the sea wind passed through both of them, marking them with a salty smell. There's something else too, a smell of meat...'_Must be tonight's dinner,' _Sanji thought silently, laughing in his own thoughts.

"Sanji?" Luffy raised his head up from his position to ask. His lips almost brushed Sanji's, his breath already on the other.

The next second Sanji could feel, it was Luffy's lips on his own. Luffy's eyes were wide with confusion, making Sanji close his eyes. Never mind what his absent minded friend was thinking...Biting on the other's lip, he coaxed it open...

_**I'm finally at rest, so glad, so calm. Everyone peace, in this fateful hour. It's Christmas, a beautiful day. I saw a new path, I walked onto it. Oh White Christmas, so wondrous so white.**_

"Sanji, Sanji!!" Someone was banging from outside the door, waking Sanji up from a deep sleep. It wasn't hard to guess who.

Heaving a deep sigh, the blond got up, putting his coat on. Opening the door, he greeted Luffy with another sigh, "What is it?" He was still tired, due to lack of sleep the previous night.

"Come see!" Luffy shouted, grabbing Sanji's hand. Leading him out, Sanji saw what Luffy was shouting about...Snow. Real snow, a white mask on their wooden ship. "It really snowed, Sanji! It's snowing!!" Sanji had to smile with him. It was like a miracle, but then, isn't those common in the Grand Line? Luffy was sticking his tongue out, tasting the snow. "You know what, Sanji? Your snow still tastes better."

"Oh?" he smiled, lips curving upward.

Suddenly, he felt Luffy's arms around him.

"It really snowed..." the rubber man was clearly overjoyed, with his voice wavering. Sanji could feel Luffy's body, pressed onto his own. Two heartbeats, slowly matching each other into one. Then, Luffy let go in a sudden, "Sorry! I guess I was too happy..."

Sanji merely laughed, "Don't worry, Luffy." Noticing something beside him, he pointed to the plate that was his, "What's that?"

Luffy was glancing around, nervous from the question, "Um...Since you gave me something for Christmas, I wanted to give you something in return...But I guess I failed, and wrecked your kitchen..."

But Sanji was already eating it, "It's wonderful, Luffy. Mind giving me the recipe?" That made Luffy smile again, being the easy person he is. "Hmmm...But you still have to pay for wrecking my kitchen," Sanji added, receiving a groan from Luffy.

"...How about cleaning it for you?" Luffy suggested, not sure if the other will accept.

"How about _with_ me?" was what Sanji said, with a grinning Luffy beside him.

Then, his hand was in the other's again, as they went up to the place they sat yesterday. Luffy sat down, and instructed the other to follow. He did so, wondering what the other had in mind.

"Look, Sanji."

He looked. The view was glorious, truly the White Christmas they were talking about. Luffy's entire mind is now fixed on the scene, letting him steal a look on both the scene and his captain. Sanji smiled.

This Christmas is indeed one he never thought of before.

"Sanji? There's snow on your face..."

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I never found out what the last sentence is supposed to mean. Must be something to do with the Christmas spirit.

Anyway, please **review!!**


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